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Date : Thursday, March 10, 2011 Time : 1:00 PM Let it go..
 Its time to let go and post something that's worth happy for :) On a happier note, I decided to take up the job offer. A brand new environment, new colleagues and new job scope. Hopefully I'll be able to handle the job well and stay there for long. It's time for the settle down since Charlene is already out, I can no longer change a job as and when I like, I have got a family to support. I'll never want my only daughter to suffer, I want to give her the best I can :) I want to save up and give her the best 1st birthday because her full month celebration wasn't done properly, it was all so last minute. I want her 1st birthday to be a blast, the most memorable one for her.    Out with husband during last weekend for a walk at Town. Baby bought me a Long Champ bag and a pair of Pedro heels for me :) Its for our belated one year anniversary present. Felt so bad as I bought nothing for him. Well, I promised to make it up to him after having my first pay :) 9th March 11                 Out with Valencia, Huiyi and Agatha :) Met up at Jp and had our lunch together and next was desserts, felt so sinful so eating so much. LOL! Did alot of catch up and we laughed non stop, we just have got tons of topics to say, as usual :) Decided to catch a movie since we have got nothing to do and the time is still early. Agatha could not join us as Nini is around :( Trained down to Westmall and bought tickets for 'My ex haunted lover'. Damn the stupid show, we wasted our money just to watch the show and scared ourselves. LOL! Cabbed home together with Valencia after the show ends because I misses my daughter so much :)
Date : Monday, March 7, 2011 Time : 8:12 PM Wrong track..
Headed to Raffles Place for an interview today. Well, it was a successful one :) The job was a good catch with attractive pay and staffs benefits. Still, I'm hesitating because of my daughter. Too many considerations.. I always feel that my daughter isn't mine, why is it so? Will she really change only if I really have depression? Current situation doesn't allow me to leave my daughter under someone's care. What am I? A mother who is transparent, a mother who is a maid to other people. Till now, I still don't get much chance to get near my daughter. I regretted.. Regretted in promising you to come back. Because you cared about your pride not wanting in living at my house, you mind about it. Thus, I agreed to move back thinking that maybe things will be better but it turn out to be the same as before. I thought I should spare a thought for you since you say you missed your family. Me too, I miss my family so much too in fact more than you. I'm used to in having them daily. Is pride really so important to a guy? I spare a thought for you, for your mom because she's already old. Then who can spare a thought for me? I am not being sensitive. Like what I have said, even the outsiders could see and feel it too. Do you know how miserable my life is? I should not be going through all these, its too heavy, too much for me. There's bound to be a big quarrel if this continue. My patience have reached its limit, I had enough of all these shits. Too tired.. Why am I the unlucky one to land in this kind of family? I blame no one but myself. I feel very sad for myself. I feel so useless. I feel upset. This problem been existing for so long, it'll never change. Trust me! You know it better than me. I can't just leave the baby behind, I gave birth to her thus I should be responsible for her. Current situation really makes me feel like running away, to a faraway place. I wanted to give up so much, so much.. If only its the end of the world then I'll be free from all these misery.
Date : Wednesday, March 2, 2011 Time : 8:28 PM Changes..
 Beloved Charlene Countless of matters happened and I'm not sure whether is it over. Having mixed feelings and I feel so helpless. I may be stubborn and does not know how to think. You tried putting yourself in my shoes and did spare a thought for me. However, we are still back to the square one, to the same place, with the same problem existing.. I would always drag my feet when we are going home. I wanted so much for us to have a home of our own, living with only you and our precious daughter. I do not want to be fake anymore, towards anyone and most importantly towards you. Its so tiring having quarrels everyday, giving each other cold shoulders, venting anger. Our relationship have turned sour, I realize. Whenever the topic is being raised up, both of us have different views and in less than two sentences, I'll find us giving each other attitude and we end up not talking to each other for quite sometime. Neither of us feels good, I do not wish to think that the daughter is our burden, our cause of quarrels. Never have I feel so upset when I am with you till now, when the problem arise weeks ago. I still can't let go, it causes me tons of sadness till I'm already numb to it. I'll learn to give and take, I'll learn to think in a better way.. I hope we can go back to the past instead of now.. :'(
Date : Friday, January 21, 2011 Time : 11:04 AM Our first bundle of joy..
 Finally, my masks arrive last night :) EDD is just less than two weeks. Needless to say, I'm feeling so excited, scared and nervous though I'm so looking forward to our babygirl's arrival. I suppose baby will be having the same feeling as me too because it gonna be his first time being someone's father. Everytime during my check up, I just hope that 紫薇(yes, that's our daughter chinese name) will be growing well in my tummy, hoping that she's taking enough nutrients from me so that when she's out, she will be a healthy and chubby baby :) Aww! English name not yet decided, baby please think of something soon! Sigh! I'm afraid I aint able to cope when MIL is out for work in the morning whereas Baby will still be in the camp serving army :( Upcoming life may be filled with difficulties but never will I give up easily because of my husband, our daughter. I know I must hang on there. Baby do have his difficult times inside camp thus instead of adding up to his burden, its my job to lessen it and be more understanding. Baby, do you still remember what day is it on next Monday? |
♥Your P.Huiping
No words can bring me down.Be it rain or shine,i'll still be leading a fruitful life.
♥宝贝 
Officially married to him since 16th September 2010. And together we shall make this love nest of ours together with the arrival of our daughter a happy family
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